This is a long overdue book, offering the general purpose introduction to the subject which has heretofore been lacking. It is an essential addition to any academic reading list that encompasses asexuality and should be required reading for any therapists with an interest in sexuality. It provides a sense of what it is like to be asexual that can sometimes be missing from academic work and engages with the literature while nonetheless refusing to be constrained by it. It is also immensely readable, providing an authoritative overview that sign posts the reader who is keen to explore further. I can’t recommend The Invisible Orientation highly enough and hope it has a wide readership.
Now for a video on one of the most universal subjects for authors: REJECTION.
In this video I discuss my personal rejection experiences, share my first rejection letter and laugh over my most condescending one, and give you an idea of how and in what capacity I’ve been rejected over the years–from the perspective of a person who did eventually get to “yes.”
My book The Invisible Orientation has been featured in TIME online with a six-hundred-word excerpt. They titled the article “How to Tell if You Are Asexual” and showed a bit of my intro and a bit of my section addressing asexual people on how to decide if it’s the label for them.
As of this writing, the feature contains a couple of inaccuracies.
 The article’s introduction claims that “[Decker] explains that asexual people can become sexual later in life, and that doesn’t mean they were not asexual before. Similarly, sexual people can become asexual,” and this is misleading. I discuss both sexual fluidity and label experimentation in my book, but it is part of a more nuanced discussion; I do not say “asexual people sometimes ‘become sexual’ later” or vice versa, and I think including it in this introduction contributes to the damaging perception that asexuality is just a phase. For most people, sexual orientation is a lifelong piece of identity, and the invalidation asexual people experience at the hands of the “you’ll grow out of it” myth makes this at best inaccurate.
 As for “Decker has written for the Huffington Post, The Daily Beast and Salon”–That’s incorrect. I have been interviewed in all of those publications but have never written for them.
This may not be the final design, actually, but for now it’s representing the book on Amazon and Goodreads and other book-selling sites, and if it changes I’ll give you that news too! For right now it’s what my distributor will see at a conference, I’m told, so we’ll see if they have input and if they do it might get a different design.
I’ve been notified by my publisher that a pre-sales meeting with my book’s distributor led to a decision to change my title. This is pretty common in the publishing world, and not at all a bad thing in my opinion.
My new title: THE INVISIBLE ORIENTATION: An Introduction to Asexuality
I think this title does a much better job hooking audiences and encouraging them to buy the book than did my original title, So You Think You’re Asexual: An Introduction to the Invisible Orientation. It’s a much more inclusive title and won’t make interested non-asexual people think they’re not the audience for the book.
Here’s a new video discussing a little bit about my process from getting my first offer of publication to signing a publishing contract. It’s brief, but I just give you an overview of what it was like to receive multiple offers, deal with negotiations, and sign with a publisher, and a little about what happens after that. Enjoy!
This half-hour news feature was hosted by Ricky Camilerri, and it included sex researcher Lori Brotto, journalist Dominique Mosbergen, and asexual activists David Jay, Micah R., and me. We discussed our personal experiences as asexual people, how intimacy works for asexual people, and how we fit under the queer umbrella.
It ended up really cool and it brought in a lot of attention, and it might be good for upping my publishing prospects for the nonfiction book, So You Think You’re Asexual. Stay tuned for good news!
Today my literary agent has begun the process of approaching editors to get me a publishing deal for my nonfiction book on asexuality.
We’re hoping to get an offer from one of the mid-size publishers we’re approaching. As of today, Andrea is contacting appropriate publishers and asking if they want to see it. I won’t make public posts about how it’s going until/unless I get an offer (or until/unless I get multiple offers and have settled the terms), but if I get great news, I’ll make a post about it as soon as I’m given the green light to announce the deal.
Here’s me discussing how I got my nonfiction agent, with some explanations of what went into my book proposal and how nonfiction is different from fiction in this regard!
I didn’t really want to go all out on making a “how to write book proposals” video because I don’t really feel like I’m qualified to do that. I understood fiction querying very well but I haven’t had much training (or time put in) on book proposals so what worked for me probably won’t transfer easily to anyone else’s project unless they just follow the outline really vaguely and build upon it.