{"id":3715,"date":"2014-11-17T13:15:22","date_gmt":"2014-11-17T18:15:22","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/juliesondradecker.com\/?p=3715"},"modified":"2020-12-08T13:22:38","modified_gmt":"2020-12-08T18:22:38","slug":"no-longer-yours","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/juliesondradecker.com\/?p=3715","title":{"rendered":"No longer yours"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>This is far from a new idea&#8211;I&#8217;ve seen it expressed several times&#8211;but now I&#8217;m experiencing it myself and I&#8217;m going to reflect on it.<\/p>\n<p>When you write a book, get it published, and release it into the wild, it becomes no longer yours.<\/p>\n<p>That may sound like an obvious statement, but the nuances are a little more complex. You know when your work is published that people you don&#8217;t know and will never meet are now hearing your words in their heads. You know you&#8217;ve made them think about things they wouldn&#8217;t have thought if you hadn&#8217;t thought them first and written them down. You know your work gets its wings and flies to places you&#8217;ve never been, carrying ideas in its wake, spreading messages far and wide.<\/p>\n<p>But what&#8217;s really interesting about it is seeing people treating it like it&#8217;s . . . well, something other than your weird little baby. Reacting to it like it&#8217;s public property&#8211;because it is.\u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/queenieofaces.tumblr.com\/post\/96194870568\/the-invisible-orientation-an-introduction-to\">Reviewing it positively<\/a>\u00a0and\u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/markcarrigan.net\/2014\/06\/24\/the-invisible-orientation-an-introduction-to-asexuality\/\">discussing its potential influence on academic matters<\/a>.\u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/clarabel-le.tumblr.com\/post\/80519734246\/asexuality-is-the-invisible-orientation-its\"><span id=\"goog_64197583\"><\/span>Posting quotes from it<\/a><span id=\"goog_64197584\"><\/span>\u00a0that they found inspirational and\u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/perksofbeingace.tumblr.com\/post\/102856889444\/pikachous-the-invisible-orientation-an\">getting hundreds of people to share them with others<\/a>. Getting excited\u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/redbeardace.tumblr.com\/post\/96215639115\/this-showed-up-today-i-even-have-my-very-own\">because<\/a>\u00a0their\u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/queerascat.tumblr.com\/post\/98191884281\/look-what-the-mailman-just-gave-me-amazon-japan\">copy<\/a>\u00a0arrived and\u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/sammyred.tumblr.com\/post\/96981128293\/so-swankivys-new-book-arrived-today-and-im\">taking<\/a><a href=\"http:\/\/sammyred.tumblr.com\/post\/96981128293\/so-swankivys-new-book-arrived-today-and-im\">\u00a0pictures<\/a>\u00a0of it\u00a0to blog\u00a0and tweet. Seeing it criticized and\u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/clover-elf.tumblr.com\/post\/89813387483\/the-invisible-orientation-excerpted-in-time-magazine\">seeing others get my back<\/a>.\u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/queen-of-carven-stone.tumblr.com\/post\/96692640006\/the-invisible-orientation-an-introduction-to\">Recommending it<\/a>\u00a0to people to help\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=GwvY4of6Mgo\">understand themselves<\/a>\u00a0and each other. Telling\u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/darkemeralds.dreamwidth.org\/504585.html\">personal stories<\/a>\u00a0about why my book is\u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/thebeautifulkind.com\/the-invisible-orientation\/\">important to them<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>It&#8217;s mine, but it&#8217;s not just mine anymore.<\/p>\n<p>The book has become part of the conversation. Part of the world. Part of the fabric of existence as we go on from here. It&#8217;s something others can access to inform their lives, and it&#8217;s something that is now being casually recommended to strangers by other strangers so they can understand an experience we&#8217;ve all had. These people have oftentimes paid money for the privilege of letting me &#8220;talk&#8221; to them for an appreciable length of time. My words were taken seriously, digested, enjoyed, passed on. They are being read now. They will continue to be in the future.<\/p>\n<p>And for many of the people who read it, who I am as a person isn&#8217;t actually important. So many readers absorb the content of a book without even thinking about the person who wrote it, without thinking about why they wrote it, without trying to connect to that person (even though they&#8217;ve done so in a pretty intimate way if you ask us). The way they think of us sometimes, if they don&#8217;t know us in person or online, is just as content generators&#8211;a disembodied set of words and opinions that made a thing and sold the thing.<\/p>\n<p>I like that.<\/p>\n<p>No, not because I like being dehumanized or separated from my content, or because I don&#8217;t like when people DO try to connect personally (because I do like that), but because now they don&#8217;t have to know me to hear my words. They don&#8217;t have to be part of my world for me to be part of theirs.<\/p>\n<p>It&#8217;s a good feeling.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>This is far from a new idea&#8211;I&#8217;ve seen it expressed several times&#8211;but now I&#8217;m experiencing it myself and I&#8217;m going to reflect on it. When you write a book, get it published, and release it into the wild, it becomes no longer yours. That may sound like an obvious statement, but the nuances are a [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[36,26,5,42],"tags":[33,27],"class_list":["post-3715","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-blog","category-longnonfiction","category-news","category-publishing","tag-feedback","tag-the-invisible-orientation"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/juliesondradecker.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3715","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/juliesondradecker.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/juliesondradecker.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/juliesondradecker.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/juliesondradecker.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3715"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/juliesondradecker.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3715\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3718,"href":"https:\/\/juliesondradecker.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3715\/revisions\/3718"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/juliesondradecker.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3715"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/juliesondradecker.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3715"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/juliesondradecker.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3715"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}