Interview: Modern Pleasure

I was a guest on the podcast Modern Pleasure. We had a good conversation that was nuanced while still being accessible to people who don’t know much about asexuality. Very interesting discussions of negotiating sex in mixed-orientation relationships and how people might figure out they’re asexual.

 

 

Julie Sondra Decker, author of the book The Invisible Orientation, and strong advocate for the asexual community sits down for an in depth conversation with Dr. Jenni and Kim.

You can listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts or your check it out on your favorite podcatcher.

Interview: Reimagining Spinsterhood

I was a guest on the podcast Reimagining Spinsterhood. Lucy Meggeson interviewed me for a lovely chat about the experience of asexuality and the threads we share with perpetually single people.

 

In this week’s episode, I’m talking to the fabulous Julie Sondra Decker. Julie Sondra Decker, is an author from Tampa, Florida. She writes fiction for adults and children—usually speculative fiction, fantasy, and science fiction—and she is widely known for her nonfiction work in asexuality awareness activism. Her nonfiction title, The Invisible Orientation, was released in September 2014.

You can listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts or your check it out on your favorite podcatcher.

 

Interview: Flow

I was a guest on the podcast Flow. The episode was called The Silencing of Asexuals. Sheila Das conducted an in-depth discussion with me on conversations we can have about asexuality and why they’re important.

Julie Sondra Decker shows how asexuals are silenced when denied as a “real” orientation, not divergent enough by queer groups, or overlooked by some sex-positive advocates. We look at how silencing then reverberates in TV shows, institutions and personal violence. But how has the scene been changing? And what can we do about it through our conversations? Julie is a leader and advocate in the asexual or Ace community and author of The Invisible Orientation.

You can listen to the episode on Spotify or your check it out on Apple or Google, or listen to it embedded.

Interview: The Knot

Interview: The Knot

The Knot contacted me to comment on asexuality-related issues and has published an article containing, in part, my answers to the questions they asked. The article is called “Everything You Need to Know About Asexuality (But Didn’t Want to Ask)

 

This article is by Dina Cheney and includes contributions from me, Anthony Bogaert, and Amanda Pasciucco. It discusses the basics of asexuality, the spectrum, the way aces identify, ace relationships, figuring out if you’re asexual, and how to be an ace ally.

Accepted short story: “Aquarius”

I wrote a short story called “Aquarius” in 2015. You can see some of my thoughts on developing the story and its journey in a previous blog post. But what I can say on the story since then is that I’ve thought for a long time that this was one of my best short stories. My mom even liked it, and my mom doesn’t like science fiction.

Evidently, the publishers didn’t agree with my assessment. Or my mom’s. Because I couldn’t seem to find a home for it.

I’ll admit one thing: I’m picky about selling short stories. I don’t like to sell them to unstable markets, so I generally only pitch to publications that offer compensation beyond a free copy. So with that and the fact that the story is on the longer side, maybe the odds just weren’t on my side for selling “Aquarius.”

Or, more likely, I just lack the capacity to be objective about which of my stories are any good.

But right after I sold a story I didn’t think I liked very much to the first place I offered it to, this story sold next. I got an acceptance on September 29, 2022.

Why didn’t I post about it then? Because I didn’t know any terms and there was no communication about the story for a long time after that, so I didn’t want to make an announcement and then find out it wasn’t actually going to be a thing. I don’t like to spread news when I don’t really HAVE the news.

But as of today, I did get my contract and the release terms. I can now tell you that after a long streak of years, my (probably) second-queerest short story will finally be published in November 2023.

Aurelia Leo bought the story for their 18th PRIDE anthology. A placeholder purchase link is up, and it has a cover.

Published Short Story: “Her Experiment”

My short story “Her Experiment” sold to Spoon Knife. It’s in the March 2023 issue: Volume 7, Transitions.

Reading this one isn’t free on the Internet but as of today it can be accessed one of these ways:

Book Panel: A Room of One’s Own I AM ACE Panel Discussion

I was a panelist at A Room of One’s Own’s book panel for the I AM ACE Panel Discussion.  This panel, organized by Caide Jackson, featured Cody Daigle-Orians with their new book I AM ACE, along with fellow ace activists Ashabi Owagboriaye and me. We covered some asexuality-related topics and some content-creation-related topics and then took questions from the crowd. Very well attended and a lovely time. You can watch it on replay.

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Interview: USA Today

Interview: USA Today

USA Today published a piece reacting to Paris Hilton describing herself as potentially having been asexual before she got married. The article is called “Paris Hilton thought she was asexual. What we often misunderstand about asexuality.

This article includes contributions from KJ Cerankowski, me, Catherine Esperanza, and Aubri Lancaster, outlining some misconceptions about asexuality and how trauma and sexual violence are related to the orientation.

 

I would like to note that one of the quotes from me could, in some interpretations, imply that asexual people who have undergone trauma are not legitimate (because I’m quoted as saying that doesn’t “delegitimize the rest of us”). There is never much space for nuance in these kinds of pieces and that’s not their fault. In my interview I did discuss how important it is to support and make space for asexual people who have a traumatic history and went into detail about the legitimacy of people with that intersection. Anyone, including people with trauma, should be able to access asexuality labels and communities. (As of this writing no one has come out of the woodwork to criticize me for that presentation, but just in case anyone was confused about my position, I do not believe “does not delegitimize the rest of us” is, in isolation, an accurate representation of how I approach this issue.)

Upcoming Appearance: A Room of One’s Own I AM ACE Panel Discussion

I will be making an appearance via Crowdcast at A Room of One’s Own as a panelist with Cody Daigle-Orians and Ashabi Owagboriaye, two other ace activists. Cody’s new book I AM ACE is being celebrated and we will all discuss asexuality, related topics, and activism. We also expect to take questions and comments from participants.

Please join us on March 6, 2023, 7 PM Eastern / 6 PM Central.

You can register here:

I AM ACE: A Panel Discussion on Asexuality with CODY DAIGLE-ORIANS, ASHABI OWAGBORIAYE, and JULIE SONDRA DECKER

Blurb Written: Ace Notes

I was invited to read Ace Notes early and provide a blurb. Please check this book out if you or someone you know is asexual and wants some validation and direction coming into the community.

 

Book info:

Title: Ace Notes: Tips and Tricks on Existing in an Allo World
Author:
Michele Kirichanskaya
ISBN:9781839975226
Publisher: Jessica Kingsley Publishers
Release Date: March 21, 2023

My blurb:

Generally uplifting and encouraging while not shying away from the realities of living as an asexual person in a sexualized world, Ace Notes gives context to ace experience through interviews, perspectives, quotes, philosophy, and advice for those on the ace spectrum. This book brings an accessible, conversational voice to an underrepresented topic.