Blurb Written: The Ace and Aro Relationship Guide

Jessica Kingsley Publishers invited me to read The Ace and Aro Relationship Guide: Making It Work in Friendship, Love, and Sex and provide a blurb. Please check this book out if you or someone you know would like relationship advice from an asexual and/or aromantic point of view.


Book info:

Title: The Ace and Aro Relationship Guide: Making It Work in Friendship, Love, and Sex
Cody Daigle-Orians
ISBN: 9781839977343
Publisher: Jessica Kingsley Publishers
Release Date: October 21, 2024

My blurb:

The Ace and Aro Relationship Guide is a comprehensive beginning for asexual and aromantic seekers to develop better relationships. Regardless of whether you’re troubleshooting a current relationship or you’re just beginning your aspec journey and don’t know how to approach relationships, this guide will examine and deconstruct harmful norms, teach you to value and defend your boundaries and needs, and open your mind to the incredible variety of relationship options that are very much available to people like us. An excellent starting point for how to think about partnership from an ace/aro perspective.

New Short Story: “A Shadow to Light”

I wrote a new short story that changed its name a few times before I tentatively settled on “A Shadow to Light.” It’s about 6,000 words. I wrote its first draft in two days.

This is an unusual one because it’s the first time I wrote a short story based on a longer story. (I’ve done the reverse multiple times.) In short, this story is an expanded and embellished retelling of a short arc from my webcomic, Negative One. The words aren’t the same and the action has some differences, but the characters are the same and they’re all in the same situation they were.

I decided to write this after getting most of the way through the book of short stories I was reading in my leisure time. Weirdly, I was inspired by the book because I didn’t actually like it.

I’ve been reading Magic For Beginners by Kelly Link. The short stories are all a little surreal and it’s not just the subject matter. They aren’t bad stories at all but I can pretty decidedly say they aren’t for me. But I looked up some interviews with the author because I was curious as to why she writes the way she does, and I pretty quickly found something that explained it: her stories grow out of a concept she likes. You can really tell that the story exists so the author and the readers can swim around in that concept.

And even though I didn’t enjoy the book of stories as much as I wanted to, I wondered whether ideas I’ve written could support a story that’s more about an idea than it is about a character or a series of actions.

In writing “A Shadow to Light,” I did not succeed in keeping it mainly to the concept because I just always end up leaning into letting the characters carry it, but at least the kernel of the idea was inspired by the same process I was going for. I also figured that Kelly Link’s extreme weirdness and lack of closure did not stop her from being successful with these stories, so there was no reason I need all of my stories to be traditional beginning/middle/end journeys or cohesively presented buildings with their architectural plans all in order either. So it’s a little loose, a little inconclusive, a little bit more about a moment.

We’ll see how it goes.

Interview: Modern Pleasure

I was a guest on the podcast Modern Pleasure. We had a good conversation that was nuanced while still being accessible to people who don’t know much about asexuality. Very interesting discussions of negotiating sex in mixed-orientation relationships and how people might figure out they’re asexual.



Julie Sondra Decker, author of the book The Invisible Orientation, and strong advocate for the asexual community sits down for an in depth conversation with Dr. Jenni and Kim.

You can listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts or your check it out on your favorite podcatcher.

Interview: Reimagining Spinsterhood

I was a guest on the podcast Reimagining Spinsterhood. Lucy Meggeson interviewed me for a lovely chat about the experience of asexuality and the threads we share with perpetually single people.


In this week’s episode, I’m talking to the fabulous Julie Sondra Decker. Julie Sondra Decker, is an author from Tampa, Florida. She writes fiction for adults and children—usually speculative fiction, fantasy, and science fiction—and she is widely known for her nonfiction work in asexuality awareness activism. Her nonfiction title, The Invisible Orientation, was released in September 2014.

You can listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts or your check it out on your favorite podcatcher.


Interview: Flow

I was a guest on the podcast Flow. The episode was called The Silencing of Asexuals. Sheila Das conducted an in-depth discussion with me on conversations we can have about asexuality and why they’re important.

Julie Sondra Decker shows how asexuals are silenced when denied as a “real” orientation, not divergent enough by queer groups, or overlooked by some sex-positive advocates. We look at how silencing then reverberates in TV shows, institutions and personal violence. But how has the scene been changing? And what can we do about it through our conversations? Julie is a leader and advocate in the asexual or Ace community and author of The Invisible Orientation.

You can listen to the episode on Spotify or your check it out on Apple or Google, or listen to it embedded.

Interview: The Knot

Interview: The Knot

The Knot contacted me to comment on asexuality-related issues and has published an article containing, in part, my answers to the questions they asked. The article is called “Everything You Need to Know About Asexuality (But Didn’t Want to Ask)


This article is by Dina Cheney and includes contributions from me, Anthony Bogaert, and Amanda Pasciucco. It discusses the basics of asexuality, the spectrum, the way aces identify, ace relationships, figuring out if you’re asexual, and how to be an ace ally.

Accepted short story: “Aquarius”

I wrote a short story called “Aquarius” in 2015. You can see some of my thoughts on developing the story and its journey in a previous blog post. But what I can say on the story since then is that I’ve thought for a long time that this was one of my best short stories. My mom even liked it, and my mom doesn’t like science fiction.

Evidently, the publishers didn’t agree with my assessment. Or my mom’s. Because I couldn’t seem to find a home for it.

I’ll admit one thing: I’m picky about selling short stories. I don’t like to sell them to unstable markets, so I generally only pitch to publications that offer compensation beyond a free copy. So with that and the fact that the story is on the longer side, maybe the odds just weren’t on my side for selling “Aquarius.”

Or, more likely, I just lack the capacity to be objective about which of my stories are any good.

But right after I sold a story I didn’t think I liked very much to the first place I offered it to, this story sold next. I got an acceptance on September 29, 2022.

Why didn’t I post about it then? Because I didn’t know any terms and there was no communication about the story for a long time after that, so I didn’t want to make an announcement and then find out it wasn’t actually going to be a thing. I don’t like to spread news when I don’t really HAVE the news.

But as of today, I did get my contract and the release terms. I can now tell you that after a long streak of years, my (probably) second-queerest short story will finally be published in November 2023.

Aurelia Leo bought the story for their 18th PRIDE anthology. A placeholder purchase link is up, and it has a cover.

Published Short Story: “Her Experiment”

My short story “Her Experiment” sold to Spoon Knife. It’s in the March 2023 issue: Volume 7, Transitions.

Reading this one isn’t free on the Internet but as of today it can be accessed one of these ways:

New Short Story (in progress): Karma’s Dead

Tentatively titled “Karma’s Dead,” I’ve got a short story cooking. For once I actually did what I always tell myself I’ll do and did some writing while on vacation. I don’t know how much to pat myself on the back for it considering I didn’t finish it, but I have some notes and some thinking to do.

It’s a strange one about people finding each other at the end of the world. (And what happens if all you have is each other and it’s not enough.) I hope the markets I eventually pitch it to won’t be sick of stories that involve a pandemic, though it’s way more like the fictional one in Stephen King’s The Stand than it is like the one we’ve just been through.

So far it is sapphic fiction and involves something I’m not very experienced with: people who write fanfiction.

I have stalled out on writing it for the time being but I will revisit it when I feel like it.


Book Panel: A Room of One’s Own I AM ACE Panel Discussion

I was a panelist at A Room of One’s Own’s book panel for the I AM ACE Panel Discussion.  This panel, organized by Caide Jackson, featured Cody Daigle-Orians with their new book I AM ACE, along with fellow ace activists Ashabi Owagboriaye and me. We covered some asexuality-related topics and some content-creation-related topics and then took questions from the crowd. Very well attended and a lovely time. You can watch it on replay.

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