Interview: The Knot

The Knot contacted me to comment on asexuality-related issues and has published an article containing, in part, my answers to the questions they asked. The article is called “Everything You Need to Know About Asexuality (But Didn’t Want to Ask)”

This article is by Dina Cheney and includes contributions from me, Anthony Bogaert, and Amanda Pasciucco. It discusses the basics of asexuality, the spectrum, the way aces identify, ace relationships, figuring out if you’re asexual, and how to be an ace ally.

I would like to note that one of the quotes from me could, in some interpretations, imply that asexual people who have undergone trauma are not legitimate (because I’m quoted as saying that doesn’t “delegitimize the rest of us”). There is never much space for nuance in these kinds of pieces and that’s not their fault. In my interview I did discuss how important it is to support and make space for asexual people who have a traumatic history and went into detail about the legitimacy of people with that intersection. Anyone, including people with trauma, should be able to access asexuality labels and communities. (As of this writing no one has come out of the woodwork to criticize me for that presentation, but just in case anyone was confused about my position, I do not believe “does not delegitimize the rest of us” is, in isolation, an accurate representation of how I approach this issue.)

I was a little disappointed that the article included this mistake about me: “In addition to identifying as asexual, Decker says she’s romantic, and because of this, people mistakenly assume some very hurtful things about why she isn’t in a relationship.” That should say “aromantic.” I didn’t say I’m romantic. Maybe it was autocorrect.