On Character Names

Fantasy names!

We see a lot of fantasy and science fiction authors choosing names for characters that are literally out of this world. Sometimes they’re just weird made-up names and sometimes they’re attempting to reflect nature/symbolism and sometimes they’re “futuristic” or something. Sometimes I see folks online–usually people who don’t like to read SF/F–mocking or rolling their eyes at fantastical names and laughing at the authors for the choices they make. Some of them seem to think the far-outness of the names indicates immaturity or silliness or wish-fulfillment author fantasies–like we name our characters weird things to make them mysterious, majestic, exotic, and cool. And that’s kind of irritating to me.

I write a lot of SF/F. About half the time, I give the characters unusual names. I don’t do it just because. I do it if it makes sense. Basically, if you have characters on another world or in another dimension who have never met people from our world and don’t speak our language, they’re not going to use the same names, but then of course critics might say “well, if you’re translating their moon language into an Earth language, why not translate their names to the equivalent? In other words, if you have a character whose name is common in their language, what’s wrong with naming them Bob?”

Indeed. What’s wrong with naming your alien characters Bob?

Here’s what I think. Unlike most words, names are specific labels for individual people. They almost always have a history–very few names are just an island of cool-sounding noises–and giving a name to a person (or, in fact, a place) indicates a connection to that history. Bob isn’t just Bob. He’s Robert, whose name has Germanic roots. If you don’t have a Germany in your fantasy land, Robert doesn’t really come from anywhere. And while it’s fine to base a fantasy world on ours and therefore have some shared names, it’s also fine NOT to.

I considered this a lot while naming characters in my fantasy worlds. In Bad Fairy, there’s a fair amount of crossover between my made-up world and our world, but they’re not the same world. It’s kind of a mish-mash, and they have some of the same gods and goddesses from our mythology, but others are completely made up (or, rather, they’re maybe recognizable deities that have been renamed). Similarly, there are plenty of names we’d recognize in the story–nearly everyone has a name that would work in our world–but a few are made up but still digestible by our aesthetic standards. There’s the protagonist Delia and her mother Gena, her friends Fiona and Drake, and her rivals Chloe, Livia, and Beatrice–but there are also a few people in her class with names like Leahan, Kagen, and Briony. I think it kind of gives you a reminder that it’s a slightly different culture in a slightly different time, even though they aren’t important characters.

In a short story I sold last year (which still hasn’t been published), my characters have symbolic names. There aren’t many named characters and names have a really important meaning in the culture of the fantasy characters because when they partner with others their partners give them new names. My protagonist, oddly enough, does not have a name. Her daughter, the focus of the story, is named Iris; I picked a flower. A boy in the story is named Briar. New names for people in the story after partnering include Grace and Laurel. Nature names made sense for the world.

And in a story that I just got an offer for (yay!), everyone, without exception, basically has a nonsense made-up name. And their names aren’t even particularly intuitive to pronounce by English standards. So why did I do that?

Yes, there was a reason. I had created a culture that’s strongly gender segregated, and the protagonist is transgender (though I don’t use the word “gender” anywhere in the story). Now, you spend the entire story in the protagonist’s head understanding her as a girl, but her culture understands her to be a boy and reads her given name, Lihill, as a boy’s name. She also wants to do things girls do in their culture and has to deal with a LOT of pushback, but we don’t have the same “NO THAT IS NOT FOR BOYS” attitude toward the things she wants to do. I thought the whole thing would acquire a more sympathetic vibe from the reader if we had no knee-jerk feeling that this is a boy’s name and those are a boy’s things. I have to wonder if the average person would be as willing to set aside preconceived notions about her gender if I’d named her Bob.

Probably not.

Names are way more than a jumble of sounds. And as writers, we’re supposed to be word artists. We make choices about how we use names, and though most of the time when I set a story in the real world my characters have pretty ordinary names, there are times when ordinary names would be way weirder in context.

Accepted short story: “On the Inside”

I had actually shelved this story for a long time because I thought maybe it needed to be rewritten in a different way—either with a different point of view choice or even with the perspective of another character. I thought these things mostly based on the feedback of the first editor I sent it to, and I didn’t send it out for a couple years.

Then for some reason I revisited the story and decided it could use a cleanup but that I liked it mostly how it was. I sent it out a couple more times and it got accepted within a month. Huh.

On the Inside” will be published in the next issue of James Gunn’s Ad Astra, though I don’t know when that will be and haven’t done the paperwork yet.

I hope the readers like it. 🙂

Speaking at Pride Week: Ace/Aro Inclusion

The University of Minnesota Twin Cities flew me up to the chilly north to participate in their Pride Week on April 13, 2015. I was invited by the asexuality group, fACES—a division of the Queer Student Cultural Center—to do a one-hour talk on asexual, aromantic, and demi/gray inclusion in LGBTQ spaces.

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The presentation went very well and everyone was really nice! They were super receptive to my message and my visit, and very friendly during the hangout times we had before the event. I also got to go to a trans inclusivity presentation that I enjoyed as well.

I made a recording of my presentation:

I even got to pick the audience’s brains at the end to discuss one thing I want to revise in the next edition of my book, so that was great too! And while I’m honestly not that big on going around personally making appearances because I prefer content creation, this certainly felt worthwhile. (And I didn’t get lost even though I had to ride the train.)

For the record, the presentation was primarily about the objections some people have to including asexual, aromantic, demisexual/demiromantic, and/or graysexual/grayromantic people in their larger LGBTQ groups; there are some folks who feel that ace/aro-spectrum people don’t belong except as allies. My presentation discussed why I do not believe this is an appropriate way to approach ace/aro issues, and it highlighted both what LGBTQ and ace/aro folks have in common and discussed what we can each learn from each other.

And it didn’t hurt that they had a welcoming and attractive cultural center room. 🙂

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Treating It Like a Job

Stephen King has a couple quotes about being a writer that I see tossed around fairly often. And to some extent, I agree with him. At least in spirit.

"Amateurs sit and wait for inspiration, the rest of us just get up and go to work." --Stephen King
"Sometimes you have to go on when you don't feel like it, and sometimes you're doing good work when it feels like all you're managing is to shovel shit from a sitting position." --Stephen King

Both of these sentiments target the reluctant writer–the people who don’t treat writing like something they have to do, and may be making excuses for why they “can’t.” Now, I really hate excuses. I have definitely met people who think writing is this sacred thing that they completely cannot be expected to do unless they’re in a rare, delicate frame of mind completely unburdened by other cares and free of restrictions on their time, isolated from distractions and inspired besides. But these folks have probably been told some lies about writing, and don’t understand that they do have more power than they think they do. Sitting down to write when you don’t feel like it isn’t the same as forcing inspiration, and it isn’t a guarantee that you’re going to write garbage; you sometimes have no idea what’s going to pour out if you sit down and transport yourself.

That said, I didn’t want to write this week, so I didn’t. And it wasn’t because I was “waiting for inspiration” or not taking my writing seriously (rendering me an amateur). I’m not a big fan of the narrative that creative jobs are jobs that we can/should always be able to suck it up and perform, the way you might drag yourself to the office when you’re feeling under the weather or push through writing your term paper when you’re sleep deprived. There are also jobs you shouldn’t try to do when performing them poorly can have consequences to your health and the quality of the product, possibly leading to more work for you in the long run or damage to your ability to perform it in the future. There are some kinds of “I don’t want to/feel like I can’t” people can push through, and there are others that you can’t or shouldn’t. You might still play in the basketball championship with a cold, but not with a broken leg. You might still work on your novel when you’re not inspired, but not when doing so requires mental health sacrifices that lower your functionality throughout other aspects of your life.

Not to mention that building up guilt over not being able to write can be damaging by itself. If everyone tells you there’s no excuse for not sucking it up and pushing through it, you might end up even more stymied. Sometimes it really is okay to not produce. Especially if you don’t have a deadline and/or your deadlines/goals are set by you.

We can learn to determine our own limits and figure out what we can realistically push through. I am very, very serious about my writing and I don’t think anyone doubts that, but sometimes I don’t feel like making time for it/dredging up the energy for it. I simply wasn’t in the frame of mind this week that I felt was conducive to continuing on the project I’m currently writing, and there are a number of reasons for that. I’ve been preparing for a talk I have to give next week in Minnesota. I’ve been editing a friend’s book. And I’ve been thinking that the next chapter I intended to write isn’t actually ready to come out yet; I think there’s something missing. I might need to reread the book and figure out what else to tie up before I dive in and write that gigantic, catastrophic chapter that will bring the book crashing to its conclusion.

Those things are not excuses, and they’re not reasons I “can’t” (or reasons I think I can’t). They represent choices I made, and priorities I set in my life. There are legitimate situations when people “don’t have time” for something–some lives are indeed incredibly busy, especially those that involve caring for others–but a lot of “don’t have time” is actually “didn’t choose to make time.” I don’t want to feel like I have to apologize for not making time to write sometimes, and I absolutely don’t believe that I am rendered an amateur if writing is not my top priority every single day.

But yeah. If you’re waiting for inspiration or won’t write unless you “feel like it” . . . you might consider seeing what happens when you write anyway. Provided it will not hurt you in an unacceptable way. Do it because you love it, and do it because you can, and do it because sometimes it just feels good, but don’t do it because other people say you have to or else your authenticity as a writer is in question.

Article (Reprint): “Asexual, Aromantic, Partnerless, Child-Free… And (Yes!) Happy”

Everyday Feminism contacted the editor of my February Drunk Monkeys piece and asked to reprint it on their site. This is pretty exciting since they get a huge amount of traffic!

They did modify my wording slightly (specifically, they chose to use “child-free” instead of “childless,” and I don’t really like identifying as “child-free,” though technically it describes me).

Please read “Asexual, Aromantic, Partnerless, Child-Free… And (Yes!) Happy” on Everyday Feminism.

Foreword Reviews’ INDIEFAB Book of the Year Award Finalist

Foreword Reviews is in charge of the INDIEFAB Book of the Year Award every year, and they’ve posted the finalists. I’m one of them!

Please see the announcement.

I am one of thirteen finalists in the Family and Relationships category:

  • Johann Christof Arnold: Their Name is Today
  • Julie Sondra Decker: The Invisible Orientation
  • Shelly Vaziri Flais: Raising Twins
  • Deborah Gilboa: Get the Behavior You Want…Without Being the Parent You Hate!
  • Kenneth R. Ginsburg, Martha M. Jablow: Building Resilience in Children and Teens
  • Jerry Mahoney: Mommy Man
  • Don Meyer, Emily Holl: The Sibling Survival Guide
  • Mark A. Michaels, Patricia Johnson: Emotional Intimacy and Long-Term Love
  • Shelly Rivoli: Travels with Baby
  • Isabel V. Sawhill: Generation Unbound
  • Steven P. Shelov, Shelly Vaziri Flais: The Big Book of Symptoms
  • Shubhraji: The Lotus of the Heart
  • Franklin Veaux, Eve Rickert, Tatiana Gill, Paul Mendoza: More Than Two

Selection happens sometime in the next few months.

Lambda Literary Award Finalist

Today I found out my book The Invisible Orientation is a finalist for this year’s Lambda Literary Award! I’m one of eight in the LGBT Nonfiction category:

  1. An American Queer: The Amazon Trail by Lee Lynch
  2. Hold Tight Gently: Michael Callen, Essex Hemphill, and the Battlefield of AIDS by Martin Duberman
  3. The Invisible Orientation: An Introduction to Asexuality by Julie Sondra Decker
  4. Nevirapine and the Quest to End Pediatric AIDS by Rebecca J. Anderson
  5. Robert Gober: The Heart Is Not a Metaphor by Hilton Als, Ann Temkin, Claudia Carson, Robert Gober, Paulina Pobocha, Christian Scheidemann, and the Museum of Modern Art
  6. Sexplosion: From Andy Warhol to A Clockwork Orange, How a Generation of Pop Rebels Broke All the Taboos by Robert Hofler
  7. The Transgender Archives: Foundations for the Future by Aaron H Devor
  8. The Up Stairs Lounge Arson: Thirty-Two Deaths in a New Orleans Gay Bar, June 24, 1973 by Clayton Delery-Edwards

I’m especially excited to be listed here because I entered in the category of LGBT Nonfiction due to having nothing more appropriate to choose–and my getting shortlisted shows that my choice was the right one. I was a little worried that I would be thought unwelcome or even that my applying would be deemed offensive by the judges, being that the book’s content isn’t centrally focused on any content that is L, G, B, or T (though there is of course discussion of where people who do identify as LGBT intersect with and overlap with asexual identities). Even if I’m not chosen as a winner, being listed as a finalist does feel a little bit like my community is getting closer to being broadly accepted under this umbrella, and that is an incredible feeling.

The winners will be announced in a ceremony on June 1, 2015. I have to decide whether I’m going to attend. 🙂