Interview: The Knot

Posted on 06/30/2023 by Julie Sondra

Interview: The Knot

The Knot contacted me to comment on asexuality-related issues and has published an article containing, in part, my answers to the questions they asked. The article is called “Everything You Need to Know About Asexuality (But Didn’t Want to Ask)”

This article is by Dina Cheney and includes contributions from me, Anthony Bogaert, and Amanda Pasciucco. It discusses the basics of asexuality, the spectrum, the way aces identify, ace relationships, figuring out if you’re asexual, and how to be an ace ally.

Accepted short story: “Aquarius”

Posted on 03/31/2023 by Julie Sondra

I wrote a short story called “Aquarius” in 2015. You can see some of my thoughts on developing the story and its journey in a previous blog post. But what I can say on the story since then is that I’ve thought for a long time that this was one of my best short stories. My mom even liked it, and my mom doesn’t like science fiction.

Evidently, the publishers didn’t agree with my assessment. Or my mom’s. Because I couldn’t seem to find a home for it.

I’ll admit one thing: I’m picky about selling short stories. I don’t like to sell them to unstable markets, so I generally only pitch to publications that offer compensation beyond a free copy. So with that and the fact that the story is on the longer side, maybe the odds just weren’t on my side for selling “Aquarius.”

~~Or, more likely, I just lack the capacity to be objective about which of my stories are any good.~~

But right after I sold a story I didn’t think I liked very much to the first place I offered it to, this story sold next. I got an acceptance on September 29, 2022.

Why didn’t I post about it then? Because I didn’t know any terms and there was no communication about the story for a long time after that, so I didn’t want to make an announcement and then find out it wasn’t actually going to be a thing. I don’t like to spread news when I don’t really HAVE the news.

But as of today, I did get my contract and the release terms. I can now tell you that after a long streak of years, my (probably) second-queerest short story will finally be published in November 2023.

Aurelia Leo bought the story for their 18th PRIDE anthology. A placeholder purchase link is up, and it has a cover.

Published Short Story: “Her Experiment”

Posted on 03/15/2023 by Julie Sondra

My short story “Her Experiment” sold to Spoon Knife. It’s in the March 2023 issue: Volume 7, Transitions.

Reading this one isn’t free on the Internet but as of today it can be accessed one of these ways:

New Short Story (in progress): Karma’s Dead

Posted on 03/14/2023 by Julie Sondra

Tentatively titled “Karma’s Dead,” I’ve got a short story cooking. For once I actually did what I always tell myself I’ll do and did some writing while on vacation. I don’t know how much to pat myself on the back for it considering I didn’t finish it, but I have some notes and some thinking to do.

It’s a strange one about people finding each other at the end of the world. (And what happens if all you have is each other and it’s not enough.) I hope the markets I eventually pitch it to won’t be sick of stories that involve a pandemic, though it’s way more like the fictional one in Stephen King’s The Stand than it is like the one we’ve just been through.

So far it is sapphic fiction and involves something I’m not very experienced with: people who write fanfiction.

I have stalled out on writing it for the time being but I will revisit it when I feel like it.

Book Panel: A Room of One’s Own I AM ACE Panel Discussion

Posted on 03/06/2023 by Julie Sondra

I was a panelist at A Room of One’s Own’s book panel for the I AM ACE Panel Discussion. This panel, organized by Caide Jackson, featured Cody Daigle-Orians with their new book I AM ACE, along with fellow ace activists Ashabi Owagboriaye and me. We covered some asexuality-related topics and some content-creation-related topics and then took questions from the crowd. Very well attended and a lovely time. You can watch it on replay.

Interview: USA Today

Posted on 02/21/2023 by Julie Sondra

Interview: USA Today

USA Today published a piece reacting to Paris Hilton describing herself as potentially having been asexual before she got married. The article is called “Paris Hilton thought she was asexual. What we often misunderstand about asexuality.”

This article includes contributions from KJ Cerankowski, me, Catherine Esperanza, and Aubri Lancaster, outlining some misconceptions about asexuality and how trauma and sexual violence are related to the orientation.

I would like to note that one of the quotes from me could, in some interpretations, imply that asexual people who have undergone trauma are not legitimate (because I’m quoted as saying that doesn’t “delegitimize the rest of us”). There is never much space for nuance in these kinds of pieces and that’s not their fault. In my interview I did discuss how important it is to support and make space for asexual people who have a traumatic history and went into detail about the legitimacy of people with that intersection. Anyone, including people with trauma, should be able to access asexuality labels and communities. (As of this writing no one has come out of the woodwork to criticize me for that presentation, but just in case anyone was confused about my position, I do not believe “does not delegitimize the rest of us” is, in isolation, an accurate representation of how I approach this issue.)

Upcoming Appearance: A Room of One’s Own I AM ACE Panel Discussion

Posted on 02/07/2023 by Julie Sondra

I will be making an appearance via Crowdcast at A Room of One’s Own as a panelist with Cody Daigle-Orians and Ashabi Owagboriaye, two other ace activists. Cody’s new book I AM ACE is being celebrated and we will all discuss asexuality, related topics, and activism. We also expect to take questions and comments from participants.

Please join us on March 6, 2023, 7 PM Eastern / 6 PM Central.

You can register here:

I AM ACE: A Panel Discussion on Asexuality with CODY DAIGLE-ORIANS, ASHABI OWAGBORIAYE, and JULIE SONDRA DECKER

Blurb Written: Ace Notes

Posted on 01/14/2023 by Julie Sondra

I was invited to read Ace Notes early and provide a blurb. Please check this book out if you or someone you know is asexual and wants some validation and direction coming into the community.

Book info:

Title: Ace Notes: Tips and Tricks on Existing in an Allo World
Author: Michele Kirichanskaya
ISBN:9781839975226
Publisher: Jessica Kingsley Publishers
Release Date: March 21, 2023

My blurb:

Generally uplifting and encouraging while not shying away from the realities of living as an asexual person in a sexualized world, Ace Notes gives context to ace experience through interviews, perspectives, quotes, philosophy, and advice for those on the ace spectrum. This book brings an accessible, conversational voice to an underrepresented topic.

Accepted short story: “Her Experiment”

Posted on 08/26/2022 by Julie Sondra

Just got word that my short story “Her Experiment” has been accepted to Spoon Knife Volume 7, which involved a submissions call for stories about transition.

I’m pretty surprised. I did something with this story I don’t like to admit: I didn’t let anyone read it before I sent it out. I actually don’t think I’ve EVER done that before–I value the input of readers and I would always advise writers to get at least a few people to help them work the kinks out.

And then it was accepted at the very first place I submitted it. Welp.

~~(I do not plan to learn from this that it’s better to go without beta readers. Terrible lesson.)~~

I also was very pessimistic about this story and didn’t like it after I wrote it. Worried that I rushed it and forced it. Worried that it was ugly. Worried that it was too long.

~~It IS too long. But that’s allowed where I sent it.~~

Anyway, it’ll be published in Spring 2023. I’ll give information about how to read it at that time.

Here’s my post about writing the story.

Blurb Written: Ace and Aro Journeys

Posted on 08/13/2022 by Julie Sondra

I was invited to read Ace and Aro Journeys early and provide a blurb. Please check this book out if you are interested in adding an important new title to your ace and aro library.

Book info:

Title: Ace and Aro Journeys: A Guide to Embracing Your Asexual or Aromantic Identity
Author: The Ace and Aro Advocacy Project
ISBN: 9781839976384
Publisher: Jessica Kingsley Publishers
Release Date: April 21, 2023

My blurb:

Inclusive and emotionally resonant, Ace and Aro Journeys offers an authentic look at asexual and aromantic identity from every imaginable angle. It’s written by people who have lived these specific trials and triumphs, with relatable examples and quotes from diverse ace- and aro-spectrum people, dispensing wisdom regarding processing negativity as well as celebrating ace/aro joy. Aces and aros will see their identities thoroughly explored and validated beyond the usual token statement of “this exists,” while those who want to learn about us will learn how to conceptualize us as we are, not as people with something missing.