NaNoWriMo 2018: Halfway

Continuing to plug away at National Novel Writing Month with great success!

Yesterday, November 15, is the halfway point of the event, and therefore of course we writers are supposed to have hit our halfway point to 50,000 words on that date.

I did.

It’s weird. On the one hand, it’s sorta reassuring; I can still write at the drop of a hat whenever I want to, and if I do it every day, a novel starts to take shape. It’s not particularly sloppy for a first draft, it’s doing some pretty cool things that are surprising me, and I think the third person storytelling is helping me avoid the tendency to get super cerebral or engage in unnecessary navel gazing.

One small issue I am having is that the romance in the story is front and center, and I’m not sure about the balance I should strike. Obviously as an asexual and aromantic author who does not engage in these kinds of relationships, I’m sorta faking it, though that’s not a hard thing to do really with the media the way it is. I’ve grown up with stories that tell me how people experience this and how they write about it. It doesn’t seem mysterious to me at all beyond the fact that I have never personally been through it, and since I’m also writing about humans and aliens living on another planet and I have never done that either, it’s about the same level of guesswork.

But I want it to feel authentic enough to NOT sound like it’s written by someone who’s guessing, and for that you need detail. So the issue then becomes, well, I’m writing about fifteen-year-olds getting interested in each other, and I’m a forty-year-old woman who doesn’t want to sound filthy if I get into too much detail about teenagers experimenting with, er, amorous relations.

So I’m aiming for sweet and a little hot sometimes, like it is for many people when they go through it. I’m focusing a lot on how it’s new or how it affects the characters as young members of families and communities, and on the unrealistic and very big thoughts they have that are nevertheless fully felt and legitimate despite lacking perspective.

I am definitely continuing to let some lessons I’ve learned from cartoons help me with my pacing. I’m still dealing with a little bit of “oh I thought of this thing, better dump it on the page now so I don’t forget,” but this is a first draft, so that’s to be expected. One thing I’ve learned from being such a Steven Universe fangirl is how satisfying a slow burn backstory reveal can be. I don’t have anything huge to dump to be honest, but I’ve learned that it’s still intriguing to do partial dumps of info that hint at more to come, and it will make people curious without irritating them too much when they don’t know.

It’s interesting how much of the main character’s daily life is actually super weird by our standards but I’m making it pretty everyday and only finding it important to mention when someone else finds it super weird. Because I don’t do much plotting and I make a lot of stuff up on the fly, I’m kinda discovering these things along with the characters, and I also seem to be planting things that I don’t actually know where they’ll go. I’m sure I can smooth things out later to make them look like they were intentionally moving in that direction, but for now there are a couple mysteries I’m considering actually just not solving, unless maybe the story does it for me without me trying.

There’s also the matter of a broken love triangle. In short, my protagonist’s race has a lot of beliefs that make outsiders view them as essentially a fertility cult, so their expectation that every girl will meet a boy and have babies is more than just a societal expectation; it’s a religion and a way of life. The protagonist believes she may be the first gay member of their species ever because there’s just no way to talk about it inside of her culture. But humans are also in the picture and they are known to have homosexuality in their species, so the protagonist does have some context–especially when she meets a cute human girl.

But of course, her culture is pushing her to start being interested in boys, and there is a specific boy entering the picture now. I figured when I conceived of him that he would exist, story-wise, to represent tradition and that he’d probably be pretty angry and feel slighted when the truth came out and she likes a girl. But after I actually met him in the story, it kinda seems like he’s confused about just about everything too and he doesn’t seem the type to be possessive about her. Now I’m starting to think a boy like him would be a good ally for her. And now I’m starting to think that when the time comes, he will say or do something essential for the story.

It’s weird how these things work.

My first week of NaNo

National Novel Writing Month is going well for me. I wasn’t sure if it was going to. I have so much going on during November, and this is maybe the busiest November I’ve had yet. I basically kicked all this off doing some of my writing on the dang airplane because I didn’t have time to do it any other time.

What’s really interesting about NaNoWriMo for me is that the pacing gives me an excuse to stop.

I’m such a binge writer. When I get into things I just get absorbed and want to finish, and I sacrifice a lot of sleep and attention to do so.

NaNo is supposed to press people into short-term sustainable writing patterns to get them writing, push them to turn off the inner editor, incentivize them to write something so they get some practice and have something to sculpt later if they like what comes out. I haven’t historically had those problems, but the problem I do have is that I know how much writing takes out of me and I have been reluctant to start a project because I’m already overwhelmed and stressed.

But if I write a little bit each day and pace myself, and keep an eye on the word count, and stop when I’m around the goal, I don’t have to make huge adjustments to the rest of my life just to write a book in a relatively short amount of time.

It’s neat.

Observations about my book so far:

  • The word count on Day 8 is 14,001.
  • I think this is my first third-person novel.
  • This is a science fiction story set in the distant future. The worldbuilding for it is very quiet, and I’m worrying that the reveals are a little too as-you-know-bob.
  • Lots of dialogue.
  • It’s more romantic than I thought it would be–the romance is front and center, and early.
  • I got the main characters to kiss. It took me 12,798 words to get there.
  • I’m not good at naming alien places. Who names a continent “Dry Lace”?
  • I am obsessed with Steven Universe, which has a lot of space lesbians in it. I am also writing about lesbians in space. And yet, it is nothing like Steven Universe.
  • However, I think I’ve learned more about slow reveals for worldbuilding and character history from watching that show.
  • I’m reusing concepts and names from the short story I’m basing this book on. The short story was written almost 20 years ago. I’m not sure why I feel a loyalty to the names even though I’ve changed a lot of the specifics of their lives.
  • I cut and pasted a tiny bit of the original text into an interlude and I didn’t like the flavor, so I won’t do it again.
  • I like the book so far but I’m not super excited about it. Maybe it will totally surprise me soon.

NaNoWriMo 2018

I haven’t written anything new in a really long time so it looks like I need a kick in the ass. Guess I’m doing NaNoWriMo for the first time ever. Wish me luck.

(And come send a buddy request to swankivy if you want to connect with me. The search function seems to be misbehaving for some people so if you can’t find me, try to send me a message and add me from there.)

I once even wrote a blog post partially about why I will never do National Novel Writing Month, but I guess I never foresaw a future where I would do what I’ve been doing lately: going a couple years without writing any new fiction beyond comics. (Not that the comics are nothing. I keep up my weekly schedule of putting out a new fantasy comic on Fridays, and that’s kept the juices flowing somewhat, but it’s not the same as writing a novel.)

I like to think I’ll handle it the same as I handle any other obligation I’ve ever taken on: I take it seriously and fulfill it, especially if it has to do with writing. But it’s been a while since I banged out a novel and I’m planning to write one for which I’ve done no preparation, except that it’s based on some characters in a short story I wrote eighteen years ago.

I am kinda annoyed about the genres we can choose from for our novels, too. You can’t indicate it’s fantasy AND YA, or YA AND LGBT+. I wish they wouldn’t try to list age categories and subject matter as “genres.” (In case you’re wondering, yes, I’m planning to write about gay teenage aliens.)

Representation: Michelle Johnson

I signed with agent Michelle Johnson in 2012, and considered her a friend as well as a literary agent helping me with my project. She gave me a lot of confidence in my work and was willing to discuss issues in depth. She was diligent about sending my Bad Fairy book out and got it in front of very big editors, but the stars did not align and the book didn’t sell.

We had some plans to take the feedback we’d been offered about fairy tale retellings and approach publishers with the second book in my trilogy instead since it has the meat of the fairy tale that everyone knows rather than reading more like a prequel. But that’s where things went a little funny with Michelle. She said she was excited when I delivered the manuscript to her and said it was going to be her top priority, and that’s the last thing she ever said to me.

She seems to have vanished under mysterious circumstances. Follow-ups were unanswered and eventually began bouncing. Her accounts went dark and websites disappeared. Other people represented by her also said they could not reach her. Some authors said they weren’t receiving their royalties because they’d been released to her and never got passed on to the authors.

She’d had some health issues toward the end of when we were talking, so I guess I suspect that she became ill and was no longer able to advocate for herself. I don’t think she would have chosen to just vanish under mysterious circumstances so it’s likely something bad happened to her but I guess I will never really know. She never said anything to me specifically (and no one associated with her ever reached out to tell existing clients what they should do), but there were a few posts around suggesting she’d become seriously ill and couldn’t carry on, and all her agency’s agents moved on.

So I thought I should say something here since I don’t want people to think she is still representing my work. In any case I haven’t been pursuing fiction publication lately and I’m sure I’ll just pursue new representation with a new book when I’m ready to try this again.

Ace of Arts Update: Chapter 7

I got my characters talking.

I wrote Chapter 7 earlier this week, sometime over the weekend.

Chapter 7 came to 2,380 words (bringing the book’s total to 16,548 words), and most of what happened in it is dialogue.

I’m not sure how happy I am with it. I wasn’t feeling very good about it when I wrote it, and then when I read it back I was a lot happier with it. (Maybe I was feeling awkward during the drafting because it was a pretty awkward conversation.) I’m trying to build a rapport here but my character is resisting it, and I kinda need her to stop doing that if I am going to get anywhere, but that’s what she wants to do so I can’t really write her out of character.

She kinda makes a good point during this whole thing, too: she’s actually not a very nice person, but she’s not actively mean either. It’s just that when you don’t really want to engage, speak bluntly and sparingly, and aren’t empathetic–and (this is key) you’re female–this behavior is interpreted as rude. Women and girls not going out of their way to coddle and comfort others–especially if they’re boys or men who want their attention–are perceived as bitchy. I’m kind of fighting that feeling with Megan, because she’s honestly not “a bitch.” She just lives in a world that expects things of ladies that she is not interested in providing, and she refuses to apologize for it, but she’s not making a big platform out of how proud she is to not apologize for it either.

But anyway, I got my characters talking, I got Brady and Megan to reach an understanding (even if she was kind of sour about it), and I got him to buy her a cookie, so there’s that.

Let’s see where they take it from here.

Ace of Arts: Update on (the rest of) Chapter 6

Well I finished Chapter 6, and had aspirations of writing another one, but I just didn’t get around to it, because slacker.

I mentioned a few weeks back that I started writing Chapter 6, and that I got an imaginary cityscape scene and a family interaction scene out. I went ahead and completed a school scene too, which included something big for Megan’s classmate Brady. And, as usual, my jaded protagonist is sulking about it.

Chapter 6 is 2,031 words, bringing the book’s total to 14,161 so far.

Here’s a thing: I’ve been using the f-word.

It hasn’t been thrown around aggressively; it’s only popped up a few times, and I didn’t save it for powerful scenes. I just remember what high school was like, and we said some raunchy stuff. (And that didn’t really change in adulthood, but I’m saying. The f-word is common in many high schools. I remember hearing it all the time even in middle school.) This is contemporary YA and the school setting is probably pretty typical. I think it makes sense that the characters would occasionally throw out curse words, even the f-bomb. But she uses it casually, not as a shortcut to showing she’s the “angry youth” type, you know? Megan doesn’t talk much, so she tends to make sure the words she does say have an impact. And one of the ways she gets an impact is using strong language.

I wonder how I’m going to handle the next few chapters. I don’t want her to suddenly become chatty, but I do need her to have some conversations with Brady. I will probably handle it with a mixture of three techniques: Having her open up unexpectedly sometimes, having her say little but add onto her comments with attached thoughts, and having Brady sort of lampshade her tight-lipped nature by bothering her to say more (which she will either refuse to do or claim she’ll tell him when she wants to). It’s a battle to get words out of Megan when you’re talking to her, but she speaks just enough that it’s not like it’s shocking if she talks (like, you know, a Silent Bob type). I don’t want it to seem like she has some kind of silence vow going on. She just doesn’t really want to talk to you. It’s not awkwardness (well, not exactly), it’s not abject rudeness, it’s not shyness; she just . . . legit doesn’t have a lot to say to you and doesn’t want your attention, so why should she?

I’ve never written a character quite like this before and I’m enjoying the departure.

Ace of Arts Update: Some of Chapter 6

I forget how much stuff I got written this week, but it did what I wanted it to do.

So I’m gonna talk about cityscape scenes.

My character does this thing–so far only on Page 1 of every even chapter–where she views an imaginary city, and it later becomes one of her drawings. She interacts with these cityscape scenes in a very peculiar way: mostly she’s just an observer, but she does act upon the environment without it being clear that “she” is actually there, and these scenes are written in present tense with a detached narrator. (There’s never any “I” in them.) My character has opinions about these city environments and her thoughts translate into drawings later, but what’s also interesting is that she’ll incorporate things she wants to be there into her drawings and if she goes back to those imaginary cities those things are there. It’s like the imaginary cities can contribute to her real life, and her real life can contribute to her cities.

It’s really, really interesting to write. It’s a little bit like Finding Mulligan, which is my book about a girl who lives one life when she’s awake and a different one when she’s asleep (but she believes she is two different people in those different places).

In the latest chapter opening, I gave her a weird clean slate (after two other chapters established what she usually looks at in imaginary cityscapes). I’m going to spend the next few even-chapter openings cluttering this place up while she’s experimenting with her art. (This is kind of spawned by her teacher telling her she needs more than one kind of piece in her portfolio if she’s going to apply to art school, so she’s kind of in panic mode looking for a way to translate her usual art-making techniques into different products. It’s going to end in mixed results.)

This week’s partial chapter included a page of that stuff and then some more family dynamics featuring Megan hanging out with Dyane and Dyane’s boyfriend Corey. I’m not done with the chapter though. I want to do another school scene with Brady. It’s Chapter 6 already. This important relationship needs to get rolling.

Eh so that’s it for now.

Not Me

My character is Not Me. She’s more divergent from being Me than most of my characters–not just in life circumstances (because all my characters have very different life circumstances from me), but in the way she speaks and thinks and IS. And because of that, I actually have to work really hard to stop my own inclinations from elbowing their way in when the flow clatters a little bit and I’m trying to keep going.

I have this wordiness problem, as y’all well know, and though it’s gotten a LOT better in recent years, I still have a tendency to wordify things. That includes feelings and thoughts and reactions and attempts to include other people. And I’m kinda used to having introspective, self-aware characters who revel in those words, composing significant dialogue and having a fair amount of running commentary in their heads.

That’s not what Megan is like. It’s kinda frustrating.

Nearly every time I write a full sentence for her I feel like it’s too much. She doesn’t talk a lot, and when she does talk, it’s usually pretty guarded. She doesn’t take extra steps to invite people to understand her; she doesn’t explain her thoughts; she doesn’t even fixate on what she’s thinking enough for me to nail it down in the text. I’m not used to a character like her who mostly speaks because others speak to her or because she can’t avoid it or to get them to STOP talking to her. (And I think this is going to make the times Megan DOES speak for other reasons far more significant, which will make my job easier down the line.)

It’s turning out to be pretty hard working with someone whose communication style is so different from mine. And I don’t want to just write it how I would write it and then edit it to be more like her because that will fundamentally change how I think about her. I’ll only really nail her voice if I practice with it as it’s developing in the story.

It’s pretty funny that I’m finally writing an asexual character and she’s the least like me of any character I’ve had. (We do seem to share an opinion when it comes to kissing, though.) I wonder how many of my readers are going to relate to her?

Not Me

Despite all the excitement and busy stuff going on and my getting pretty unreasonably excited about cartoon things, I managed to calm down enough last night to do a little bit of writing (and, hopefully, will be able to do more this week), but I wanted to post a little ramble about an issue I’m running into.

My character is Not Me. She’s more divergent from being Me than most of my characters–not just in life circumstances (because all my characters have very different life circumstances from me), but in the way she speaks and thinks and IS. And because of that, I actually have to work really hard to stop my own inclinations from elbowing their way in when the flow clatters a little bit and I’m trying to keep going.

I have this wordiness problem, as y’all well know, and though it’s gotten a LOT better in recent years, I still have a tendency to wordify things. That includes feelings and thoughts and reactions and attempts to include other people. And I’m kinda used to having introspective, self-aware characters who revel in those words, composing significant dialogue and having a fair amount of running commentary in their heads.

That’s not what Megan is like. It’s kinda frustrating.

Nearly every time I write a full sentence for her I feel like it’s too much. She doesn’t talk a lot, and when she does talk, it’s usually pretty guarded. She doesn’t take extra steps to invite people to understand her; she doesn’t explain her thoughts; she doesn’t even fixate on what she’s thinking enough for me to nail it down in the text. I’m not used to a character like her who mostly speaks because others speak to her or because she can’t avoid it or to get them to STOP talking to her. (And I think this is going to make the times Megan DOES speak for other reasons far more significant, which will make my job easier down the line.)

It’s turning out to be pretty hard working with someone whose communication style is so different from mine. And I don’t want to just write it how I would write it and then edit it to be more like her because that will fundamentally change how I think about her. I’ll only really nail her voice if I practice with it as it’s developing in the story.

It’s pretty funny that I’m finally writing an asexual character and she’s the least like me of any character I’ve had. (We do seem to share an opinion when it comes to kissing, though.) I wonder how many of my readers are going to relate to her?